When I found out about Chase, all I could think about was going to Mobile to be around his friends that saw him the most over the last 3 years. I wanted to hear stories and just love on them. I love my Mobilians so much. Glad to have them in my family.
In the meantime, there were other friends from high school and college hurting as well. Some were paul bearers and honorary paul bearers for the funeral. All of his friends came together to be there for us. But I feel like I kind of looked over them and didn’t really spend time with them. I hate that so much now.
His College buddies started talking about what they could do in Chase’s name. They decided to put together an event called “Chasing Awareness”. They had already come up with the name before his visitation. So in October, they put the event on at Avondale Brewery in Birmingham, Alabama. They had a cornhole tournament, raffle items, and t-shirts. There were at least 500 people that came to be a part of it. They raised over $28,000 for suicide prevention in Chase’s name. It was amazing.
They are now putting on a second anual “Chasing Awareness” event October 12th again at Avondale Brewery from 1 – 6. I am so excited about it and seeing everyone again. We are also having a speaker to come talk. He lost his sister at age 11 to suicide 6 years ago. I can’t wait to hear him speak.
I want you to pay close attention to some of these guys that made this event happen. They have written how their life has changed since Chase’s passing. I so appreciate these young men that shared their hearts with me so that I can share them with you. Please read them all. Each one touched my heart in so many ways. I am so proud of and thankful for them. So here you go…
Michael Hyche: Losing Chase made me realize how much I took my friendships and relationships for granted. We spend so much time consumed within our own lives that we forget how far a small conversation can really go. Those conversations seem awkward and daunting, but they can actually save your friends. Since losing Chase, I try my hardest not to avoid them anymore. People are worth the inconvenience.
Daniel McKraken: There can be times I’m going through my day to day life where being caught up in the busyness of work or life’s duties makes me lose thought of what actually happened a little over a year ago. I’m not really sure if that is a good or bad thing because of the amount of pain I felt that moment I got the news. First and foremost, the impact of Chase versus the impact of his choice are very different. It’s hard to put into words the impact Chase’s choice has had on me. When I think about Chase, it can be a rollercoaster of emotions – sadness, anger, gratefulness, abandonment, guilt. Just a lot of confusion honestly. I try my best to think about Chase and I’s friendship foremost, not his choice, since the memories are all happy and its what I am grateful for. He was a one of a kind friend that in just these recent, post-college years had become one of my closest friends. He was a part of our tight-knit friend group that had snapchat, groupme, and hangout conversations going all day every day. He was one of the first I would contact when I was coming home to Mobile for whatever reason. From college to post grad years, we had too many damn good times! As I continue to think about Chase, that’s when the other emotions can start to set in. One of my closest friends that I had daily contact with for the past few years and saw every few months or so is gone…by choice. The sadness, anger, and feelings of guilt and abandonment all just rush in together. Sad for his family and friends, mad that we could’ve done more, upset that this was a choice, etc. It can really suck sometimes, but other times I am able to step back from the blaming game of him or me, or being mad, and am able to use this bittersweet, eye opening experience to be “better”. I wish it wasn’t at this cost, but I can say that we have begun to do some good. I remember telling Momma Mel that we were going to make something good come out of this. Chase’s family and friends have really put it on their shoulders to tell the world about Chase and his suicide – All with the goal to prevent suicide and address mental illness. Creating the Chasing Awareness event almost seemed like a natural thing to do. Not only do we get to remember a great son, brother, and friend in a way that Chase would approve (any type of social event and a cold beer), but we also are creating the awareness to end the stigma that mental illness has, to open up the conversation for everyone either battling depression or not. Our friend group has definitely formed a different bond that is stronger and also more compassionate. Not that we weren’t before, but I think Chase’s choice has exposed how we just dont know what someone so close to us is going through. Personally, I feel like Chase’s suicide will be an ongoing effect where I am still learning and realizing the impact it has on my friends and me. What I have learned in this year since his death is to have a greater respect for the human mind and how fragile we are. I’ve learned to cherish my friends and family every moment, and to be more aware of the mental illness behaviors around me. My hope is that our efforts to be “better” can at least save one life.
Spencer Austin: That day I will never forget. It was something that shook my being to its core and made me question almost everything. How could someone, who appeared to have everything in life, make this choice. Chase Lanke was an amazing man, and an even better friend. Chase was one of those few, and rare people who you knew would come through…who you knew would never let you down no matter what circumstance arose. The world became a little less bright the day Chase made his decision. If there was anything to be learned from this event, we needed to take heed…we had to. For me, it was two things. The first is that depression does not discriminate. It does not care who you are, where you are in life, or what you plan to become. It comes without notice, and most of the time without detection. It’s something that can’t be explained, when all you desperately want is answers. It’s something feared and hushed away, that needs to be brought to the forefront. The second thing I learned is to never take anything for granted. If something so terrible can happen to someone so perfect, then there are no givens in this life. Love the ones you are with, cherish those that navigate themselves into your life, and never for a second forget that YOU matter. I don’t think anyone truly understands just how much they mean to someone else.
Will Hutson: It was about 9:30 AM when I got the call. I was sitting in my office working, when I get a text asking if I can talk on the phone. I closed my door and proceeded to call the person who texted me.
“Chase killed himself this weekend.”
My life took a different course that morning. I’ve lost friends and relatives to drug addiction, car crashes, old age, and disease. Never, did I expect to lose a friend to suicide. I thought, if any of my friends were to make that decision it would be me. I thought I was the only one. You see, not 8 months earlier I had begun to plan my suicide. I was luckier than most though. I had friends, family, and a very supportive girlfriend who were adamant against this. I found my therapist on my second try. For those of you in therapy, you know how hard it is to find someone who connects and understands the way you need them to. I quit my job with nothing lined up and moved in with my parents. I began eating better, drinking less, and working out. I began taking an anti depressant, something I scoffed at needing just several years before. It took all of this just to get me to start feeling normal again, let alone happy and fulfilled. Mental health is not something that changes overnight except for one case: Suicide.
This is not to say Chase didn’t have those things. Chase has the most loving mother in the world, a group of friends who I like to think made him feel welcome and loved. He had a high paying job and a lovely home. He had everything we are told from day one that you need to be happy. Throughout this experience, I am constantly reminded of the permanence of his decision and the power of depression. Even all the good in his life was overshadowed in his mind. His life took a dark turn and he struggled to escape it. In the end, he ended his pain the quickest way he knew how.
Since that day, I’ve never been more intentional about mine and others mental health. His life and subsequent death gave me perspective and motivation to help myself and others. We started Chasing Awareness, raised a ton of money, and began a conversation with lots of people. Chase did this. Chase’s life did this. Chase’s death did this.
Zach Perkins: On July 30, 2018, I received the news that one of my best friends, Chase Lanke, had taken his own life. I‘ll never forget that phone call and the indescribable emotions that overcame me. I just couldn’t believe Chase was gone. Honestly, that entire day is hard to remember but I‘ll never forget thinking that I could have done something to help Chase. I still believe that to this day and that’s why Chase’s other close friends & myself helped organize Chasing Awareness, an event that focuses on breaking the stigma of mental illness. Chasing awareness isn’t about the money or sponsors, it’s about spreading awareness to those who need it. No one should have to go through depression alone and we want everyone to feel comfortable speaking out about their own experiences with mental illness. There is nothing I wouldn’t give to have my friend back, but I hope that my friends and myself have made him proud through our efforts to bring more awareness to the struggles both Chase and so many others fight each day. Although Chase is gone, he leaves behind friends and family who have been inspired to shine a light on the stigma of mental illness.
Will Vickery: When I first heard the news about Chase, it took me a while to register what I’d just heard. I just couldn’t fully wrap my head around it and what it all actually meant. Over the next few hours, it began to settle in that he was gone. I started to think of what I could’ve done differently. Could I have prevented this? Were there signs I might have missed? Sure, I knew that Chase had been down a little lately, but I could have never imagined it would have come to this. It’s really hard to think about what he must of been going through each day. He privately faced so many struggles that I never even realized until after the fact. Over the next few months, leading up to and after Chasing Awareness, I started to realize how many people had direct connections to this. My group of friends were opening up about their own obstacles. So many people at Chasing Awareness were coming up and sharing that they’d lost loved ones to suicide. I soon realized almost everyone I know has experienced mental health issues, or their fallout, directly. I miss Chase everyday, and it sucks that he’s gone. But if any good can come from this, hopefully it’s to shine another light on the struggles people go through alone everyday. I’ve learned over the past year that the best thing we can do is talk to one another about what’s going on behind the scenes. Hearing people’s stories has opened my eyes so much and I hope we can continue talking about mental health and move forward together.
Wow. They are so incredible, aren’t they?
Here is the information on the event. I would love to see as many people as I can… If you or your company are interested in sponsoring this event, or if you have any additional questions, please reach out to us at ChasingAwareness@gmail.com
If you can make it to the event, please sign up for Cornhole: http://www.alabamacornhole.com/chasingawareness.html
T-shirts are ready to be ordered. Please click on this link if you would like to order one. https://squareup.com/store/chasing-awareness/?fbclid=IwAR3RhTrjuZELiznDEQHIa0HKFJv39V1-oV8MO5OfGZryaTmSAU9r1BNzG1o
Thanks, as always, for taking time to read my blogs. I am also grateful for all the thoughts and prayers going up for us. It is an ongoing sadness around us, but we are trying to make a difference in mental illness for our precious Chase.
Your Life Matters 